|
|
All of a sudden some people have started calling me a wife stealer. WOW. Actually I do know the Origin of the wife stealer story.
40 years ago I had a "housemate" to help with the expenses of being a single parent. After getting dumped on with a three week old baby after a year of marriage, I wasn't too excited about getting involved with anybody on any level. My often drunk housemate thought I needed to get laid, twice he brought home women to have sex with, likey sloppy seconds, I totally rejected the idea and sent them packing. One asked me if I was gay because I spent 20 minutes alone with her with any sexual advances. I said "Did you ever consider I'm just not interested?" So you are gay...
One morning this housemate wakes me to tell me that he and his brother picked up this girl at a bar and tag teamed her all night.
My response was "Why should I care?"
"Because she says she knows you!"
Turns out one of the worse decisions of my life had come back to haunt me. She was a one night stand that I had to smoke five grams of hash and a half dozen drinks, and even still I had to close my eyes and do some major fantasizing to consummate the evening...
A couple minutes later this women is in my bedroom hitting on me...
To say NO sober in the morning was very easy, keeping her away after the asshole brought her into my home was another problem to be dealt with...One day a few weeks later, this housemate leaves yet another woman at the house, I'll be back in an hour...
This new girl was better looking than most of the tramps he brought home, but I still wouldn't touch anything he had touched with a ten foot pole
Well girly couldn't keep her hands to herself and to stop the harassment, I picked her up threw her over my shoulder and threw her into a cold shower
Well when he came back the story suddenly became I threw her into shower to get her out of her clothes so I could Fuck her
I said whatever and threw them both out, soon after she turned up pregnant, so they got married. His next story was "His brother was the father of the kid but DNA couldn't prove it!"
So that is how I tried to steal someone's wife!So how has this become an issue 40 years later?
Turns out the drunk asshole is still telling these stories 40 years later and told one of his drunk buddies, who now insists That I have and am currently trying to steal his wife.
Where did this come from?
Out one night, I ran into an old school mate (who turns out to be drunk asshole # two.) There was a woman at the bar, I saw him talking to, and I asked "what was up with her?"
His response was "If you want her you can have her"
What's wrong with her I inquired?
"Way too much baggage She has 3 kids, six dogs, a drunk ass brother living on her couch and wants to turn me into a farmer, you want her?"
Basically I agreed with his too much baggage opinion, but couldn't believe what he was saying so I responded, "that's okay I'll wait until you dump her or she gets rid of you!"
Kinda shocked him, but I was just going with the redneck groove.
He moved in with her, and after a couple of years ran into drunk asshole #1 and now he insists I am trying to steal his wife.
Turns out, according to Facebook he hasn't even married her yet, but I'm trying to steal his wife...
Which brings us to redneck asshole #3, who doesn't appear to have to be drunk to be an asshole.
We were at a social gathering and I saw this guy with a woman, I asked him how long they have been married, (Because redneck rules say if I talk to a woman, it means I want to Fuck her)
He replies, We are not married, she is just with me tonight. As she was sitting being ignored, I tried to strike up a conversation, she jumped at me and said "you have a lot of nerve hitting on me in front of my husband!" "Who is your husband? I asked and she pointed to asshole #3, who just told me he wasn't married and good buddies with asshole #2
I checked facebook status and none of these guys are married according to their profiles.
Two of them have a great excuse, they are Rock stars and have "To be single" to get sex from the groupies. But wait neither has been in a serious band for years, hmmm.
So now I am a serial wife stealer and a pediphile. (don't know why yet, could be that I gave a 17 year old girl a ride to a party.)
So is there any wonder why I am not pursuing relationships and currently living the life of a hermit?
random links transporting dazed and confused free range arachnids to insane asylums since MVM
wizard bill of rights why here hen how phoenix judging amy rock star
stupid games poker Jennifer Aniston Carlin gillette razors sexy star porno
court discrimination wives marriage quiet resolve of my ego john galt jr asshole
